Jesustology

Like the C of E, only better!

Jesustologists believe that Jesus Christ was sent to earth by God Himself to cleanse the Righteous, while damning the dirty beasts and the mud people to the depths of Hell, where it’s been scientifically proven they belong.

Jesus is part of the “Godhead” that all Jesustologists believe in. The Godhead is:

• God
• Jesus
• The United States
• The Holy Spirit

Together, these four entities combine together - along with Coca-Cola, the official carbonated beverage of Jesustology - to create an unstoppable force of spiritual awareness and bliss!