Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Oh My Sides are Going to Burst

Link

"The Pentagon would hold a massive march and country music concert to mark the fourth anniversary of the September 11 terrorist attacks, US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said in an announcement tucked into an Iraq war briefing today.

"This year the Department of Defence will initiate an America Supports Your Freedom Walk," Rumsfeld said, adding that the march would remind people of "the sacrifices of this generation and of each previous generation".

The march will start at the Pentagon, where nearly 200 people died on September 11, 2001, and end at the National Mall with a show by country star Clint Black.

Word of the event startled some observers."

Massive march?!? Country music?!? This could be the worst thing ever to come from Rumsfeld's office. My bet, someone murders Clint Black before the concert or more likely, American's will show their "support" by boycotting the event.


UPDATE: Here's the page for the event

UPDATE: Can this get any more hilarious? Check out this from their FAQ page:
"Q: Who is supporting the Freedom Walk?
R: The America Supports You Freedom Walk enjoys the support of Stars and Stripes newspaper, Pentagon Federal Credit Union, Subway, Lockheed Martin, The Washington Post, WTOP Radio Network, and ABC WJLA-TV Channel 7 & NewsChannel 8, among others."

S&S has no choice, anything the military does is in there. Of course the Pentagon's credit union is on board. Lockheed Martin made all of the bombs, so I'm sure they'll be all for such a BS PR stunt, and the newspaper and radio sponsers make sense to a point, but SUBWAY?!? Seriously, how does Subway get third billing as a supporter of this charade? Are they donating subs to keep Clint Black occupied while the administration rewrites his lyrics?

So I was going to put a parody of a Clint Black song here, but I don't know any.  So I looked up his Greatest Hits
album on lyrics.com and came up with this:

"There's no time to kill between the cradle and the grave

Father Time still takes a toll on every minute that you save
Legal tender's never gonna change the number on your days
The highest cost of livin's dyin', that's one everybody pays
So have it spent before you get the bill, there's no time to kill"

Wonder if he'll play that one at the celebration.

UPDATE: More FAQ Fun:

Q: Why is DoD organizing this event?
R: Since September 11, 2001, the Pentagon has provided citizens with opportunities to commemorate September 11 in meaningful ways. The America Supports You Freedom Walk is the fourth September 11 commemorative activity sponsored by the DoD. The goal for the 5th anniversary in 2006 is for each state to host a Freedom Walk in order to provide an opportunity for as many citizens as possible to reflect on the importance of freedom.

Q: Is there any additional safety information for walkers?
R: For visitor safety, the following items are prohibited during the walk, and at the concert viewing area: real or simulated weapons/ammunition, animals, Mace/pepper spray, alcoholic beverages, coolers, glass bottles, fireworks/firecrackers, and laser lights/laser pointers. Baby strollers are allowed for the walk. Backpacks, duffels and bags are allowed but will be subject to screening.

Yes, and by 2008 we're hoping to have every city in America host a reverent march in their town square to praise our dear leader and show support for a third term that should be approved shortly by our Neo-Conservative Constitutional Authority established by ASY.


2 comments:

ligitgill said...

Question: Do you know what the previous commemorative things were?

When I first heard about this I thought it was a joke, like something you would read in the "Onion".

This is paid also in taxes from us I suppose?

Dr 4LOM said...

Well so far as I know the only other previous commemorations of 9/11 were in NY. One was the spotlights pointing straight into the sky one for each tower and I believe they are making a permanent commemoration on the site when the new buildings are in place. As for taxes, well this is a DoD funding thing, so you can bet that it's coming out of tax money. Of course the sponsers are there, but close look shows that a majority of them are federally funded organizations already(besides Subway of course) so they most likely took a mill from here, a mill from there, that sort of thing. It does read like something the Onion would create though, but it's all too real.